As we cruise into the halfway point of the eighth and final season of Game of Thrones, the dragon poop is really about to hit the fan. Winterfell is about to be under siege by an army of White Walkers led by the Night King, and those tasked with fighting off the undead have more or less accepted their doomed fates.
But all may not be lost, as Winterfell’s population of women, children, and those who otherwise need to be protected, are planning to hide out in the elaborate crypts underneath the ancestral home of House Stark. Indeed, the crypts of Winterfell are apparently so concealed and little-known that Bran and Rickon were even able to evade the Ironborn there during Theon’s raid back in season two.
This is a very good plan, viewers are informed, as characters repeated the claim that the crypts are the safest place in Winterfell over and over again in Sunday’s episode, “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.”
It would have been a very good plan, anyway, if the think-tank over at Winterfell wasn’t overlooking one gaping hole in their logic — which is, that the Night King can resurrect the dead, and those crypts (with only one way in and one way out) happen to be chock full of Stark corpses. It’s unclear whether the bodies of Lyanna, Robb, and Talisa made it back from the Red Wedding, but even without them, there are plenty of other dead Starks that could be reanimated.
Many fans were quick to point out this incredibly flawed logic on Twitter:
I really loved the subtle foreshadowing in #GoT last night.
No place in Winterfell is safer than the crypts.
All the women and children are in the crypts, because of how safe they are.
Nothing will happen to them down there.
In the crypts.
The safest place in Winterfell.
— Christopher Stoney (@ChrisStoney) April 22, 2019
I'd really like to do a better job at work today, but I'm way too concerned for all the women and children hanging out in the Winterfell crypt.
— Dustin Parkes (@dustinparkes) April 22, 2019
NOBODY WILL BE SAFE IN THE CRYPT.
Can you imagine if dead/wight Lyanna and Ned arise from the dead and start throwing hands? I will burst into flames. Yes I know Ned doesn't have a head but…Night King magic innit. #got
— Stephanie Yeboah (@NerdAboutTown) April 22, 2019
The crypt at Winterfell going to be real cozy until the Night King raises his arms and all the dead Starks start killing everyone down there
— Austin Anfinson (@austin_anfinson) April 22, 2019
There's one thing I'm absolutely certain of in the year of our lord 2019:
The Crypts of Winterfell are not safe.
— Gabe Duverge (@GabeDuverge) April 22, 2019
Everyone on Game of Thrones tonight:
the crypts are very safe, no reason to think anything bad could happen in the crypts, a location we can all agree has been firmly established as, can’t stress this enough, safe
Next week on Game of Thrones:
so everyone in the crypts is dead
— A. Grand Party (@grantpa) April 22, 2019
Others had jokes and memes about the fate of those hiding out in the crypts:
— Momo Pears (@momopears) April 22, 2019
THE CRYPT IS THE SAFEST PLACE IN WINTERFELL! pic.twitter.com/fjsWNzn6BT
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 23, 2019
Sooo… who is gonna break it to Jon and crew that the *crypt* is not exactly the safest place to be when you’ve got a literal Zombie King coming to knock down your door. #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/tF8oloXRBm
— Plamen Novakov (@Plamen_Novakov) April 22, 2019
Everybody in the crypt:
Ned Stark when the Night King pull up and resurrect his goofy ass: pic.twitter.com/DdMf51UClF
— Barefoot Bernstein (@BadNewsBaller7) April 22, 2019
Everyone: put the elderly and young in the crypts as they are the safest place to be
Me, knowing full well that the night kings power is to rise people from the dead and the crypt is FULL of dead people #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/kiYpC9EtR4
— erin • persona (@crystyletear) April 22, 2019
— alex (@ghostlikecrime) April 22, 2019
“The crypts are safe.”#GameOfThrones
— Anthony (@edgewalker81) April 22, 2019
Either way, next week’s episode is going to be a bloodbath, regardless of whether or not the crypts are the safest place in Winterfell. (They definitely are not.)